Off Topic: Ghetto Fabulous Fashion Issue

I PURCHASED a ghetto girl dress from Charlotte Russe, and the damn sales girl didn't take the hard tag off and it didn't set off the security alarm when I left.  Can't really blame her, I didn't even notice it had a security tag until I got home and tried it on again.

and who would notice when you're looking this good. Oh yeah.

This problem has happened to the best of us.  You want to wear your damn clothes, but the store you bought it from is too damn far away.

So, my bull in a China closet self decided I was going to get that fucker off.

Here is what you will need:

1. your receipt
2. razor or x-acto knife
3. small flat head screwdriver

First, cut the triangle top portion of the security tag off with the x-acto knife.  The plastic was very thin and easy to cut off.

Now shove the small screwdriver into the metal piece that is holding the pin hostage. There is a split in the piece that will allow you to pry it apart enough to easily remove the pin.

The pin is in there, sorry such a crappy photo.

Grab the pin while the screwdriver is prying the metal pieces apart, and you should end up with this:

 Now you should have security tag free clothes!  Way too easy.

Unless it was an ink tag. Let's hope you aren't ghetto removing one of those using this method.

This information is only to be used when dealing with incompetent sales clerks.  DON'T STEAL. GO GET A DAMN JOB AND PAY FOR YOUR SHIT.  If you can't afford it, you don't need it.

Kitchen Project: Polycrylic on Countertops

When deciding what to seal my countertops with, I had to research several options.  Many suggested polyurethane, but others stated that it could yellow over time.  I did not want no pissed on looking countertops, so I chose Minwax Polycrylic finish. This stuff looks like milk, and is like painting with it. It's super watery, paints on easy.  But it stinks to high heaven. Ventilation is key.

I was a bit freaked out when it painted on and IT WAS BLUE. 

Holy crap, it's blue...

But it dried clear and shiny.  Very nice.

My mom read that putting on several thin coats is better than thick coats.  She, like a sensible woman, painted the first coat on thin.  I decided her section would be the control group, and poured that shit on the counter and slathered it around with the paint brush.  

Luckily, thick coats are fine.  Especially with this textured paint, I'm going to need a ton of coats.  Right now there is 6 thick coats, and I'm guessing at least 4 more will be needed.  

Bubbles are bad.  This was really only a problem around the bottom edge of the counter, probably because I wasn't putting enough of the Polycrylic on the paintbrush because I was trying to avoid drips.  The half-dry paintbrush created a bubbly foam.  The bubbles create white areas when dry. 

 

You can see the white area centered in the picture where bubbles were accidentally allowed to dry.  I will be sanding that down before I add any more coats. Also, note the texture of the countertops.

The most ghetto factor is that when this stuff gets wet or hot, it turns back to that weird blue-white shade. What the hell is that?!? Why wasn't I warned of this??

It goes back to normal after it dries. Not really what I'd like to happen, especially if I ever have guests over.  Being accident prone, I will spill something, and then I'll have mood-ring countertops.  I'm going to look for a solution to this oddness.

Fun fact:  Rubbing alcohol will get oily dog barf out of couches (as mentioned in a previous entry).

I hate my fireplace

I hate my grody fireplace.  It shall be my next project.

"Um.. are you sure your home was built in 2005?"

Yeah, the shell sinks, brick fireplace, and plastic bathroom faucets all point to my house being built in the 70's.  The shell sinks may win the battle, but the fireplace will not win the war.  It must be destroyed. 

Everybody comment and tell me what I should do! Oh, wait. I forgot I write this blog for my own entertainment.  I guess I'll see what I decide to do in the near future. For now, I need to finish my kitchen.

Kitchen Project: Grouting the Backsplash

After watching a few videos on grouting mosaic tile backsplashes, I thought "Oh, this will be super easy". 

No. 

No, they make it look easy.  The women smearing the grout on with the grout float are freakishly strong, and I don't know how they made it look like the grout just easily wipes away with a sponge. I had to scrub that shit off, and I didn't wait the total drying time. 

The bottom and sides of the backsplash are going to be caulked.  The simple statement in the how to videos of  "don't grout the bottom of the tiles near the countertop" is way easier said than done.  It's difficult to maneuver the giant grout float to grout very close to the bottom in between the tiles and not get any on the very bottom.

Before furiously scrubbing the grout off

I used premixed gray grout, even though the woman in one of the videos I watched condescendingly said "I don't know very many professionals who use the premixed stuff".  Bitch, please. 

When putting the grout on, going in a 45 degree angle does help to get the grout in between the tiles.  There is a lot of scraping involved, and scrubbing it off the tiles after is a lot easier if you scrape as much of it off as possible.  I had to take frequent breaks because holding my arms up for that long made them really sore, but I am a weakling. 

Really glad I put in the under cabinet lighting because the grout makes it look even darker.

Kitchen Project: Backsplash and Under Cabinet Lighting

I added a recycled glass mosaic tile backsplash from Lowe's.  I would have rather had a lighter tile, but this was too cheap to pass up.

I bought premixed ready-to-use tile adhesive and applied it to the wall using a notched trowel.  At first, I was entirely too generous with the adhesive and did not scrape enough off the wall, and it squished through the tiles. I tried to get most of it off with a paper towel, and then had to use a utility knife after it dried to get all of the excess off.

I used a tile nipper to cut the areas around the electrical outlets.  Being a weakling, I was a bit concerned about using the tile nipper, but it turned out to not be difficult at all.

After I had all of the tiles on the wall, it looked way too dark. 

This led to my next project and ADD move: under cabinet lighting.

Better.  I installed Utilitech under cabinet lighting, which came in a pack of 5 with a dimmer.  Shamefully, and like a man, I did this without any research and without reading the directions.

Putting the lights up required a drill to get the screws to hold up the lights through the underside of the cabinet.  However, I did not have the correct drill bits to be drilling through the cabinets for the wires, but I was damned and determined to get it done anyway.  This led to a hot ghetto mess.  

Oops.

I drilled the first hole too low and it split the wood and the above happened.  At least the pack of lights came with little plastic wire holders that nail in. 

Better after that first incident, but still ghetto looking. Oh well, its done, and nobody needs to be lookin up under my cabinets.

I thought I was going to be able to easily run the cord straight up from the plug to start the under counter lighting and not have to drill a hole from the underside up into the cabinet. I did not take the dimmer box into account.

As you can see, the dimmer box in the cabinet is fairly large and needed to be hidden.  I hated that I  had to drill a hole large enough to fit the plug through the bottom of the cabinets, but oh well. To make this extra ghetto, I plan to try to color the exposed wire coming from the cabinet to the plug with a sharpie.

Will update after grouting.

Kitchen Project: Countertops

My ADD really came out on this one.  I started my countertop transformation, and then decided to do the backsplash in the middle of that project.  I don't recommend this, as the adhesive for the backsplash can be a bit messy.

First, I lightly sanded the countertops with 120 grit sandpaper.

Then I cleaned the countertops with Clorox wipes and Windex.  Many of the DIY sites said to use trisodum phosphate to clean the countertops with, but I said

After cleaning, I taped everything off and added Dexter-style plastic to the cabinets.  I then primed the countertops with 2 coats of Glidden Gripper gray latex primer.  I read that you do not have to sand with this primer, but sanding the countertops isn't that big of a deal and I wasn't willing to risk it.

Looking pretty good already with just primer

As many other DIYers have used, I decided to paint my countertops with Krylon Make It Stone spray paint in Obsidian.  It took 3 coats for it to look like it was covering the primer.  Since I have a great deal of countertop space, this required 9 cans of spray paint. 

This crap got everywhere. Seriously, no one warned that the paint comes out in little flecks, and those flecks would end up 6 feet away, covering the floor in little black dots.  I waited until it was dry, and the flecks came up easily with a Clorox wipe.

The picture doesn't do it justice, it looks pretty good and like stone in real life.

I will be applying a sealant soon.  Hopefully it will end up shiny, gorgeous, and no longer textured.

I planned to use Envirotex pour on high-gloss finish, but with 50+ sqaure feet of countertop to cover, it would have taken around $130 to cover all of it.Instead, I will be using Minwax Polycrylic.

Kitchen Project: Cabinets

My kitchen was ugly. Wood on wood with wood. Wood, wood everywhere. Not cute.

I decided the cheap ass solution would be to paint the cabinets and put up a backsplash that I found on clearance. Oh, that would have been too easy.

When painting the cabinets, I followed the same steps as mentioned in the previous entry about the bathroom cabinets. I sanded with 120 grit sandpaper, cleaned the cabinets, taped everything off, primed with Kilz oil-based primer, and painted the kitchen white with Valspar Ultra White kitchen and bath enamel.

I didn't think my precious chihuahua would be interested in the stinky oil-based primer, but as soon as I left the room, she was drinking the paint like it was something to do.  In true Rick James fashion, she then proceeded to say "fuck yo couch!!" and vomited the oil-based paint all over the couch. 

It looks like someone put a bag of french fries on my couch.  I tried using just soap on the couch and scraping the paint off, and that worked to get the color out, but not the oil. I gladly accept suggestions on this matter.

Yum. Oily dog barf.

 Anyway, back to the project... I painted the bottom half of the cabinets and started noticing something was looking off, besides the kitchen hoarding.

After finishing the cabinets, I was pretty happy with them, but I knew something had to be done about the countertops. The white paint really made the ugly countertops stand out. Also, the backsplash I had purchased for the kitchen before painting the cabinets no longer looked like it matched the multicolored countertops. 

Finished Cabinets.